Heels on Friday apologizes for the lack of postings recently. The economy/DST switch/presidential election/an unfortunate incident with my laptop in the rain are to blame. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
It is the age-old question: Can a man and a woman ever be truly friends? And just friends?
The answer is yes, but carefully. You know the advice don’t drink and drive? Don’t drink and try to keep a cool distance from friends of the opposite sex. In vino veritas – or a lack of inhibition. By the same token, you might want to forego activities that lead to drinking, like joining a kickball league (for example) as well. And no long trips where you’ll be alone together for hours and hours and bored out of your minds. Just sayin’.
So what to do? In Heels on Friday’s experience, there are three ways to handle that tingly vibe that can happen between even the most stalwart of platonic pals.
1. Let it out. Engage in harmless flirtation and banter. It defuses the situation while still keeping things safe (mostly). It provides an outlet for affection and possible attraction while still preserving the true tenor of the relationship. This can be tougher to pull off if one of you is seriously interested in the other person, or if your guard is down for any number of other reasons. Only you know where the line is here, so trust your instincts. Heels on Friday will wager most friends can call each other “cupcake” and get away with it, but licking the icing off each others’ bodies probably will take things in a different direction.
2. Suffer. Play it cool and silent, and leave your feelings of attraction unspoken. This obviously applies to situations where you either a) never were really “just friends” or b) in the course of your friendship, your feelings have changed. The fear that verbalizing your feelings can jeopardize the relationship is a real one, and if you’re crushing on someone, you can easily convince yourself that any contact, even tortured contact, is better than none. Unless you want your life to turn out like a French novel, Heels on Friday advises avoiding this technique. Make new friends, find a hobby, start reading a French novel – just get away from the situation and clear your head. Or take the plunge and be honest.
3. Pounce. Don’t even let things take the turn towards the friend zone if that’s not what you’re interested in. This involves a little more risk, but no pain, no gain, right? And you’ll be honest with yourself and the other person right out of the gate. Sounds like a pretty good way to start a relationship…
